You can't really put the genie back into the bottle.
When we first start to Wake UP, we may question our sanity. We compare what we are being shown and experiencing metaphysically (through dreams, visions and synchronicity), intuitively (that little Voice inside your head that starts whispering words of wisdom or the subtle, consistent nudges of wanting to go somewhere or do something) comparing it to what we'd been taught from childhood about what is solid, tangible, quantifiable and "real." Finally, that magical moment arrives, the time when we start to realize that what we are Seeing and Experiencing is so much more than what the world's limited view has offered us. We start to see from a higher vantage point the clarity of the bigger reality and we realize that we're not insane at all, but that instead, it is the world that is practicing insanity. It can be quite alarming, to say the least.
So what do we do about this? Well, we can attempt to ignore it, but it doesn't really go away; no matter how many times we push the "snooze" button, we're going to be nudged again and again until we pay attention. As soon as we start to pay attention, we want some answers, something to place our faith in, some facts to lay down, some stability upon which we can comfortably and confidently stand. So, we start by doing research because that's what we've been taught to do: research and find concrete, quotable answers from reliable sources; it is, after all, the scientific method upon which our current belief system is built! We start to ask questions, we begin to seek other people who have positioned themselves as authorities on the subject. We go to "teachers" and "gurus" and just want to be spoon-fed information that will satisfactorily stabilize our newly shaken sense of reality, because all we want is to continue on with life "as normal."
However, it's just not that easy or simple. Life will give you exactly what you need to learn and will provide the people and lessons it takes until you master it. Because of my thirst for spiritual answers and my insecurity of following my own Inner Guidance, I ended up attracting all sorts of spiritually savvy predators.
In February of 2015, a 30-something year old man was stationed in a tea-house, just waiting for me to arrive. He had been guided to meet me there, he said. As soon as I walked into the back area to await my fellow business-women friends, he was there with his briefcase and some odd looking energy measurement tool out on the table and called out to me, "You have such amazing energy... Egyptian energy. You are able to remind people who they are by pulling out the lost pieces they'd forgotten about themselves..." and I was hooked. I was enraptured. He started to tell me about the two women who were going to meet me, that one was of a higher vibration than the other (I had not told him I was meeting these women). He told me things about my parents, some things no one would know. Yes, he was a teacher for me. I told him I was a Twin Flame. We exchanged numbers and I told him I'd contact him after my meeting. I found out he had two master's degrees and he showed me his website that reflected his business which was to inscribe information onto the etheric skeletal structures of people. (I did not quite understand at all what that was all about, but, whatever... sounded like he was well learned and experienced in spirituality, which is what I was craving). He said he was employed by the angels and directed on his missions to meet people, like he met me. He spouted out a LOT of references to his knowledge of Jewish mysticism, demons and dark energies, kabbalah, sacred geometry, crystals etc. He also told me that Twin Flame energy could be transferred, and that he was currently holding the essence of my Twin Flame inside of him, and didn't I want to sleep with him? Of course this upset me to NO end, because I just did not believe it. I knew it was not true and I got irritated and frazzled by him, so I told him it was time to leave. He ended up by being frustrated himself and the last words he spoke to me were, "May you never be fooled by lower creatures again!" and stomped away.
I may have needed more lessons in discernment, because I kept attracting more spiritual predators.
In September of 2015 I was going to fill up my gallon containers at the headwaters of the Sacramento River in Mount Shasta. On my way to find a parking spot, a tall, middle aged man was walking in the middle of the one-way road quite slowly so that I had to go at his pace until he decided to get off the road. After parking, I walked to the headwaters and began dipping in the water jugs, only to see him there watching me. He started conversation with me saying he felt my immense patience as I was behind him in my car while he was walking down the road. I chuckled slightly and started to carry the water back to my car to put it in. He followed and asked if he could walk with me. I nodded and he continued to talk with me about spirituality and referencing things around us that I could not see with my eyes. My interest again was piqued. I knew that many people had all sorts of spiritual gifts and seeing auras or talking with spirits were things I did not possess. He referenced the Bible to me quite frequently, telling me how important it was to read the scriptures. I know the Bible very, very well and continued to be intrigued. One who referenced the importance of Christianity would not be of the dark, how could they be, right? He led me to a path in the woods as we talked, away from other people. He pointed out a spot by the river where something "dirty" had happened the night before. He told me about some trees and birds and creatures being employed by the dark forces and that I should be careful because there were spies everywhere. He said he was waiting to meet me, that he had been directed to hang out at the McDonalds, thinking I'd be there, but instead found me at this park. I said that the particular McDonalds he referenced was across from the hotel where I was staying, but that I did not eat there. He told me he was "allowed" to tell me certain things, and that he had to ask permission to touch me, that he was "allowed" to hug me. He stopped on a bridge and beckoned me to him, hugged me close and I could feel the wet tip of his tongue lightly on my neck. OMG, "Did you just taste me????" I asked in disgust, pulling away. "Oh no no... that was my nose," he said. ICK, whatever, I was out of there. I went back to my room and took a shower. *shiver* A few days later I was in the grocery store and I heard his voice call out, "Hey!" it boomed and I turned around slowly to face him. "How's it going?" he said. "Fine," I replied curtly and started to walk away. He said one final thing, "You're about to be tested." Whatever. I finished shopping and thought nothing of it. Two days later, I was hit by the nastiest black magic induced psychic attack that I referenced in my previous blog.
You'd think that by this time I would steer clear of people who claimed their psychic prowess and spiritually enlightened teachers that were ready to whisper their knowledge to me. But no, sadly, no. I still had lessons to learn. I think I may be the queen of learning it the "hard way."
In summation, I've learned that once I start to feel icky about what someone teaches or professes, it's time to step away. I let my heart guide me now and trust my own Inner Knowing above and beyond anyone else's Guidance, no matter how mystical and magical and intriguing their stories are. I've learned that if one uses fear or ego, judgement or complaints to divide our Twin Flame and greater Spiritual community, it goes directly against my Unity Conscious Awareness and I stop giving them my energy or attention. They are teachers. All of them have taught me discernment.
In the end, it is about the evolution of our soul, about self-accountability and spiritual growth. As easy as it may seem professed by spiritual gurus and teachers to lean on them instead of doing the inner work, one cannot simply take a magic pill and make themselves "better." As an example, consider a person that has diabetes- yes, often medication will be prescribed in order to help balance their wonky blood sugar levels, but it also takes mindful lifestyle choices to improve health. A little pill won't just make the sadness go away in a case of depression. It takes conscious effort to employ balanced choices in how to respond and react.
Changing patterns and learning about how to wield your own spiritual gifts takes practice and the awareness of self-accountability. No one can do it for you. Do I allow myself to be Guided: yes, but I do not allow myself to be told what to believe anymore. I get all of what I need to know from the inside out, rather than the outside in.
