When I was in college in the early 1990’s, the internet was juuuuust being born. In its infancy, we didn’t have many graphics to virtually play around like you kids do today. No buddy, we had to write out our stories, word by word, with punctuation and grammar, with imagination and co-creativity. That is what made up our virtual world entertainment in the birthing of the internet. These types of games are called MUDS and MUCKS, MUSHES and MUSES and they linked us up instantly, intimately and anonymously.
I wasn’t adverse to the idea when he told me about FurryMuck. He said, “I found this game online that I
think you’d like, Rachael. It’s about
animals.” He knew I loved animals. I always had an affinity for them. In fact, my mother used to tease me that I
claimed to talk with the animals like Dr. Doolittle when I was young.
The creativity it takes for table top roleplaying always got
me happily involved in co-creating stories with others. Thus, when I was introduced to the virtual
world of role playing, that simply blew my mind. There were no limits to what could be created!
This platform was incredibly detailed,
laced with the provocative beauty that bears witness to the dynamic and diverse
wonders that humanity can create. Well beyond Dungeons and Dragons or any
Future or Otherworld role playing games, virtual role playing worlds created
online incorporated every facet of
life simulated on a wide-spectrum of worlds.
I happened to start
on a MUCK that involved creating animal-type and/or magical characters to
interact with other “furries.” It was
very cute, very cuddly, very… very cuddly, and swishy, and playful, and, well,
some people started doing it like bunnies.
Some people simply watched the bunnies hump. Some people ate the bunnies in a slow,
provocative manner. Whatever was going
on, people agreed to play their characters in such a fashion that was monitored
enough to keep it adult-based only and consensual.
I played a polymorph human/doe-taur named Anise and a fairy
named Giselle. It was magical and mesmerizing.
I was completely hooked. It was a
sociologist’s dream come true! I
traveled into the deepest aspects of the human psyche, both my own and others,
with such complete honesty that only anonymity can provide. It provided some of the deepest, most authentic
and very powerful connections with others I have ever experienced. I learned so much, from so many angles what
it was to be in all types of relationship dynamics. No stone was left unturned. I explored it all. Mind you, when one rides beneath the beating
of the hot midday sun, bucking bareback on the sandy shore, or tromps with
mud-laced high black leather boots into the heady thickness of the sultry jungle
or delves with delicious depths the dips and swells of the bluegreen sea, one
discovers in one’s travels quite precisely what one does not like as well as
what one does enjoy and appreciate.
The wealth of understanding
gained from living these virtual aspects of interaction have been some of
my most prized experiences. Because I am
so curious and sincere, I was able to talk frankly and openly to the players
behind the masks of their characters. I
made certain that they knew how I felt about boundaries in play and if they
were comfortable as well.
I learned with such
profound awareness how the human psyche works and why some things are enjoyable
for some and not for others. What it
taught me the most was empathy and compassion. These virtual experiences were woven with
player trust and intimacy. It afforded
the opportunity to learn how to see the struggle of power between love and
abuse, between lust and self-worthlessness.
Through this vantage, I gleaned information from all of the angles and
viewpoints without being thrust into experiencing it physically.
If one is ever able to truly forgive, one must be able to
truly understand what it is they are forgiving.
For one to understand, one must
undergo an opening of the mind. For one
to forgive, one must undergo an opening of the heart.
Each of us seek
to heal the wounds we harbor deep within us.
Whether it is that we seek to take power or give it away, to abuse or to be abused is a call out that
we are imbalanced within ourselves, therefore are attracted to that which we
need to learn for re-balancing. These
cycles spiral and continue until they get mended. The only true and eternal healing occurs when
one goes deeply within themselves, finds their dragons and tames them. It is with that strength of inner
self-honesty that catapults us toward reclaiming the Love we each hold nestled
deeply within us.
Each of us are on our own paths in how we come to our
individual understanding and enlightenment.
If you truly want to delve into
the shadows and light of self and see that transpire in others without
enmeshing yourself physically, you may want to use these virtual worlds as a
stepping stone. You will soon discover
flavors and aspects of yourself that you did not recognize you had within
you. Let them rise. Play with them. Keep those aspects you like and discard the
others. Know thyself.
Link for different virtual worlds: http://nimud.divineright.org/webmudlister/list.php
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