How to Get Grounded Without Falling Down

 Living in the Creative Heights

Artists, inventors, philosophers, mystics, and all spiritualists who expend much time and energy in the creative realms ofttimes become so enraptured with their esoteric heights that they may forget to eat, sleep or do other necessary activities of daily living.  For example, have you ever been in the groove of your creative or meditative mode and find yourself saying, "I really need to go to the bathroom, but it can wait, I can hold it!" and then, in what seems to be the blink of an eye, you find that three hours have passed and your bladder is extended beyond belief and is not happy.  Perhaps you find yourself rushing to appointments and forget to bring items with you that you needed because you've given your time and energy to the creative idea, forgoing the very real and pressing presence of the here and now.  It is not that you're lazy or procrastinate; it's that you're preoccupied by the grander plan, the greater schematic, and everything else seems to take second or third (or sixteenth) place.  All you really want to do is keep on creating!

It may seem silly to even broach this subject, for many people in our society will not be able to relate to not keeping a regimented schedule or a consistent time table.  Most people live their lives completely by routine; it is a viable way of living, for living by rote routine provides a very real sense of stability in an otherwise unstable reality.  "The world may be falling to pieces, but at least I have my morning coffee."  However, most artists and other creative folk have a difficult time keeping a regular sleeping schedule, let alone a breakfast routine. 

It Is Important to Keep Grounded to Sustain a Balanced Existence

As one who admits to actively living in the heights of creative mode and much preferring the energy up there, verses the density of dogma, disease, demand and dementia that pervades our mundane world, I can attest that it is quite necessary to remind myself to stay grounded without falling down and losing the joy and freedom for which I have so diligently worked to achieve.  This requires a great deal of discipline, finesse, balance and discernment for as soon as one starts to pay attention to the lower levels of living, one may easily become discouraged, disgruntled and as un-eased as the collective.  To assuage this downward demise while still keeping a strong tether to the here and now, I have discovered a few very important activities that will work wonders in maintaining the balance necessary to live more fully without compromising integrity, honor or impose unnecessary harm upon the sensitive soul.

Be Fully Present In Your Body

So much time is spent out of body, conjuring new ideas, creating novel concepts of awareness, spinning and weaving the warp and weft of our worlds, that we may forget the beautiful sensuality of being in our bodies.  We have many sensational faculties with which to employ and to delve into each of our subtle senses.  Using conscientious alacrity and aplomb adds wonderful levels of enjoyable awareness we simply may have forgotten.  Here are a few ideas to spark the enjoyment of being in your body.

Take a Walk, Dance, Hike, Swim, Skip, Roll Down the Hill

Move your body! Remember what it feels like to be actively awake and aware of your movements as they relate to the world around you.  Be in nature as much as you are able, for its simple resplendence and beauty will rejuvenate your very soul.  Watch the sunrise and sunset, listen to the wind blow through the leaves and see the sunlit patterns cascading through their canopy.  Drink deeply of the woodland experience. Inhale the rich beauty of moss and mushrooms. Splash in the surf and skip stones in the streams.  Cast your gaze upon the twinkling stars at night.  If you do live in an urban setting, go to a park, find someplace that is less chaotic, less maniacal; steer clear of places where there is mayhem to disturb, disrupt and distract your inner peace.  Do not spend time in places and amongst people who will cause you worry (i.e. social media, the news, your gossiping neighbors, etc.)  This will only serve to deflate and deplete your energies.  Likewise consider competitive sports: the layers of desire and division may inhibit your fullest enjoyment of the activity.

Care for Plants, Pet Your Pet,  Play with Children

Activities which involve other life also stimulate your well-being as long as it is reciprocal in balance.  Gardening, putting your hands in the dirt, smelling the flowers, pruning the plants are all very grounding and loving activities that will reward you on many, many levels.  Most pets and children have the innate ability to freely give love and joy without being demanding.  If you are finding yourself taxed by obligatory walks with the dog or dutiful outings with the kids, this is not going to reset your peace of mind.  If you do not have (or want to have) access to your own children or pets, simply observe kids at play or animals in nature.  This removes you from the interaction a step, but does allow you to feel the energy and enable you to become replenished by it.

Cook, Bake, Bathe and Pamper Yourself and Other Self-Nourishing Activities

How wonderful is it to waltz in the wafting aromas of a gloriously good meal?  Each step in preparing food for yourself and those you enjoy can be such a pleasure in and of itself, well before the sharing and consuming of the meal.  You create an idea of what to make, you carefully consider and choose the ingredients (maybe you can hand-pick the peaches from the farmers market for your compote or the patiently pluck the herbs from your garden for the soup?) Let each bite be it's own gift and savor your repast with delight.

How lovely is it to soak in a warm bubble bath and steep in the sensations of aromatic tinctures, lighted candles, and potted plants, to nurture and nourish your body with oils, to pause with pleasure at the perusal of your own, glorious magnificence?  Actively engage your senses. This is celebrating yourself on all kinds of levels by treating yourself well, with respect and utter joy.

Do It with Love, Or Don't Do It at All

In the end, it is all your choice how you wish to expend your energies.  We all have things we want to do and things we must attend to create and maintain an exquisite existence in this life.  Do not rush your tasks; consciously achieve making each step a delight, and not a chore.  This will indeed extend your enjoyment throughout the entire process and garnish you with enough joy that may easily radiate as a pure gift to others.

Toxic Relationships: How They Occur and How to Gracefully Disconnect From Them

Every one of us has been hurt in this world.  We've all fallen down, made mistakes, hurt others, hurt ourselves.  None of us have escaped this experience of life without having sustained a bruised heart and broken trust.  Some of the worst wounds have occurred when those who are closest to us have abused, exploited or neglected us, even while claiming that they love us.  Instead of being pure and unconditional, love suddenly has strings attached.  The soft, sweet signals of love become entangled with and tainted by denser qualities, casting shadows of doubt and showers of despair.  

Most people are able to move through their struggles when proper attention is paid to their inner shadows of insecurity, self-doubt, anger, grief and resentment; however, there are some people that choose to not expend the time and energy it takes to clear out their wounds.  They may distract themselves with busyness, withdraw or go numb, hoping to hide from the pain and pretend everything is ok when it is not.  Walls may be built to protect the inner wound and the outer world becomes a competitive battle-ground. 

When Pain Turns Toxic

If an inner turmoil is "swept under the rug," the pain must go somewhere.  Sometimes the pain goes inward and the person suffers internally, masking their pain with mood enhancing medicines or mind-numbing drugs; their pain may be played off non-nonchalantly, often without the knowledge of others who are very close to them.  This can eventually manifest into auto-immune diseases, anxiety and/or depression, risky behaviors, alcoholism and avoidance behaviors (such as over-working).  If not properly contended, these coping habits will turn into seriously disabling conditions. 

Sometimes the pain goes outward and the person will lash out to those around them, targeting others to dispel their grief and angst.  We've all experienced having been around someone who is unpleasant.  Seemingly out of nowhere, we become the brunt of their "bad mood."  They criticize and judge, cajole then condemn.   It is likely the person is going through challenges in their life and they do not know how to properly deal with the emotions and thoughts that surface.  Some wounded people become caustic or sarcastic, demeaning or demanding. 

It is important to understand that people only fight or flee when they are in pain and do not know how to deal with it properly.  It may be a colleague or a supervisor, a friend or a stranger.  If it is someone with whom you feel no obligation or less of a personal connection, it may be easy to allow it to roll off your back, to simply turn and walk away from the bitter venom that arises; but if the person is a relative, a spouse or a close friend, you may feel duty-bound to stay and take the abuse, to try to help them by listening and offering suggestions, to stay in loyal contact with them because of cultural or personal expectation. 

This article is to help guide those loving, compassionate and empathetic souls who have long-suffered the sting and continuously bear the burden of another person's displaced wounds (directed intentionally or unintentionally upon them) and who have observed through time these continued patterns that the wounded person in their life has not been able or willing to take accountability for themselves and the harmful behaviors they exhibit.  

The wounded person seeks approval and sympathy from outside of themselves because they do not understand how to nourish themselves, and will continue to take it from others who are willing to give it to them.  This can be seen as the "poor me" syndrome whereby the wounded person recounts how horrible are their life circumstances and how unfair others have been to them.  This is a cry for sympathy and attention.  At the same time, the wounded person may often judge, criticize and condemn other people to a fault for their mistakes in order to point out how worthy they are in comparison.  This is the wounded ego at work crying for recognition through self-inflation by the degradation of others.  Both actions are dis-empowering.

The wounded person stays in their wounded place because they are enabled by others not to take accountability for their own care-taking and self-love. It is up to each individual to reclaim their power in the unbalanced relationship. When the enabler continues to allow the disabled to feed off of their energy or dump their refuse over the good-will of the other, the imbalance will make both people unhealthy unless the cycle is broken.  If what is shared and shown in love is not seen or ignored by the disabled and attacks continue, then one must remove themselves from the relationship until the wound is recognized and willingness to change the pattern is made manifest. The enabler must stand up for themselves by holding the dis-abler in loving accountability.

Riding Yourself From an Energy Vampire

At some point, you will recognize when it is time to curtail the relationship.  Here are some signs to recognize when you are at this stage:

• You are depleted whenever you are around this person.
• You do not enjoy their company but feel obligated to continue to keep them in your life.
• You stress out about their drama.
• You feel judged, dishonored and tricked by them.
• After spending time with them, you feel like you have been used, under-valued and under-appreciated.
• You hear them talking badly about you to others despite your best efforts of friendship and loyalty.
• They are paranoid about how you feel about them and seek constant reassurance.
• You keep hoping things will change in the dynamic of the relationship and continue to be disappointed.

It is a significant step to remove yourself from an energy-vampire especially if they have been in your life for many years.  The pattern of abuse has been worn thin by time and is so rote that it may be jolting to them when you finally stand up for yourself.  Do not second guess yourself when you decide to step back and cut the tendrils that tether you to them, despite your good heart.  It is not ok to be someone's punching bag,  no matter who they are in relation to you, no matter how sour their lives have gone or how abused they have been by others.

Here is an example of a letter I wrote a few days ago to someone who has shown decades of abusive patterns via control, judgement and belittlement, who has offered support and then changed their mind at the last moment as a power-play and was not willing to take accountability for their misdeeds against me and others. 

 Dear xxxxxx,
I write this letter with love.  It is very apparent to me that you are suffering ~ you have such bitterness, anger and judgement that rides heavily on  your heart and prevents you from having joy, levity and self-love.  When you speak to me with loathing, hatred for your life circumstances, judgement against me and so many others,  it is like poisonous darts or a vomitous mass you project.

Please know I have worked very diligently and very carefully in removing people from my life that are motivated by fear and guilt.  I only abide with those who are gracious, loving and compassionate.

Until you can work out some of the darkness that shadows your heart, shrouds it with malice and resentment toward me and others, I will not abide or tolerate any connection with you.

Please do not write or text or call me.  You are free to come and visit once you have cleaned yourself up <3

I do not need your judgement or your pity.  I most assuredly do not need your money or your time.

Best of luck!


Use this as a template, as you like, to help untangle yourself from anyone who misappropriates your goodness, tries to dis-empower you or tries to take away your dignity with guilt and oppression.  Please notice that, in the end, the door to the relationship is not completely shut, but boundaries are indeed set so that until the perimeters are met, the relationship will not continue.  There will be no space for argument, no more fuel for the fire to continue.  Do not engage with them until they acknowledge their mistakes and make the real effort to change these deep-seated patterns of abuse and exploitation.  It is entirely possible that the wounded person may never want to take accountability for themselves in this life. Be willing to accept that you've done all that you can and now it's their turn to master the strength to heal themselves.