The Unveiled Mystic: the Journey Behind the Journey

I do not remember asking to be a mystic, it just happened.  

You would not think anything was very different about me should you meet me, only, perhaps, that I am a completely approachable, sincere, and kind person.  I always have loved nature, animals, children and have had a very real and intimate relationship with God for as long as I can remember. 

I was raised in a "normal" American fashion: the eldest of three daughters brought up in the mid-west to educated middle-class parents who loved each other, had married young and who stayed married to each other their entire lives.  We were a God-fearing, God-loving family.  We ate meat, potatoes and two vegetables every dinner and had an apple orchard in our back yard.  I walked to elementary school.  My mother baked loaves of bread and made cookies for our family as well as worked part-time.  My father worked hard and steadily throughout my formative years and he celebrated each Friday night, loving to be home with his family for the weekend and enlisting us girls to help him with the yard-work. We were raised to be good stewards and responsible people.

There was no alcohol in our house; there were no firearms.  We attended church every week as well as Sunday School and Wednesday night services.  I went to church camp every summer from third-grade through college and chose to attend a Christian Liberal Arts college my freshman and sophomore years.  I never drank or did drugs while I was in school; instead, I did a LOT of babysitting, had a paper-route, worked at the library and then as a waitress as soon as I turned 16 and was heavily involved in our community youth orchestra, symphonic band, piano lessons and choirs.  We always had a dog. 

My life growing up was all very normal and idyllic.  I never asked for much more than what I was given, though I always knew that there was more: I had a very idealized concept of romance, well before I was even a teenager.  This was to the detriment of my relationship with my parents, for I sought my Beloved with the same aplomb and alacrity as Aurora in Sleeping Beauty, once upon a dream. (Fairy tales, fantasy and romance always have intrigued me.)

I was 17 years old when I had my first mystical experience.  While my parents and sisters were inside together watching a movie, I was out in the backyard near one of the pear trees, heartbroken over my love gone lost, praying without ceasing and gazing up into the clear night, the star-studded sky.  Fat tears were rolling down my cheeks as I asked God "Why??" over and over again, confused, distraught and ever so sad.  It was then that I saw a shooting star streak across the heavens and was overcome with the very real presence of the Divine- so much so that I was completely compelled to lay prostrate, face down on the dewy grass, unable to look up.  I was overcome with a great sense of calm, of peace, of love and the very real reassurance that I was taken care of.  My sadness dissipated; I arose, dried my eyes and went back into the house with such awe, such thankfulness in my heart.  Never again could I dare doubt the reality of God after that.

Time proceeded, my love was found and lost once more, this time *I* was the one who ran away.  For 20 years I lived an alternative life without him present.  I married someone else, I had a child; I divorced and married again and divorced again... I threw myself into the world: my careers, parenting, hobbies all became priorities above my spiritual life.  I stopped hanging around God-loving people.  I ceased praying.  I became "practical" and put my job before my spirituality, my spouses before myself.  I ensconced myself with worldly pursuits and pleasures and ended up being taken advantage of by the world, chewed up and spit out.  I was angry, I was forlorn, I was physically sick, emotionally spent and spiritually distraught.

But something else happened, too.  Just as I had gotten to the point of exhaustion, of total depletion and had given up on being able to work full-time due to an array of illness and dis-ease, God fetched me once more back into the embrace of Love- this time with a vision.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I had this very strong sense to go into the attic and dig out from the recesses a rock that I'd obtained 15+ years ago from a book/jewelry/gemstone mining store I visited long ago when I first moved to Asheville, NC called the Silver Armadillo.  It was a lovely piece of fluorite, raw and uncut in its cubical blue-purple formation with tiny white calcification cubes like stars studding some sides.  My intuition was strong and I felt to go to the window of my room and gaze outside, place the crystal on my forehead and then close my eyes.  I felt a tingly-burning sensation where the stone touched my flesh and was given a scenario in my mind's eye of people walking around, minding their own affairs, living their lives as usual while I saw a doorway, a window open in the sky that revealed a blazing bright Eye.  No one else seemed to notice it whatsoever, but I was riveted, captured by it's gaze, locked into it's sight with my own and then these words came pouring into me over and over again, "I am Holy Thine.  I am Holy Thine.  I am Holy Thine."

Being so entranced by this vision, I blinked open my eyes and immediately drew out the image I had seen onto paper so I would have some tangible reminder of the indelible impression it left within me.  I drew the sun-like radiant Eye in the open doorway in the sky, I drew a man who was not paying attention and looking elsewhere, I drew myself as a black shaded silhouette with a lightness inside.  Since that time, I've been gifted with more visions- all of which have left me with such deep feelings of awe and gratitude, with amazement and humility.  None of them have been of death or destruction or the end of the world.  All of them have been awesome, intriguing and inspiring, very real reminders that we are much more than what we seem. 

My third eye (and fourth eye!) have been opened and I feel energies throughout my body.  I can read the human heart and recognize Twin Flames almost as soon as I meet them.  Each person that comes into my life is on purpose, our meeting a part of the Grand Design, and I am able to see more than I ever even dreamed or fantasized was possible.  I am able to glimpse into the akashic records and view past and/or parallel lives.  (This has been an incredibly handy sanity saver when I've wondered why in the world have certain people come into my life and why are the dynamics so weird!!)  I am continuing to hone my spiritual gifts and am discovering more.

For me, keeping a journal and writing has been an invaluable part of this journey into the mystical realms.  Sometimes my writing comes so fluidly and so effortlessly that I know it is coming through me.  Some of my most profound poems have come in 30-45 minutes without any pressure and I know that I am but a co-creative and collaborative scribe taking Spirit's notes and adding my own flavor to these eternal messages of the all-empowering unity of love.

I will remind you that I was not at all a crystal-loving hippie child, or a mystical seeker.  I was not a new-age spiritualist or anything of the sort when these things started to occur for me.  I was raised with Christianity and science, two belief systems that poo-poo this type of reality with chagrin!!  I merely prayed and kept myself open to listening and following my intuition.  I understand that many people have spent their entire lives wishing and seeking these sort of experiences, and I must tell you- when your spirit is ready, and when the timing is most prime for everyone to benefit, these mystical experiences will find you. 

In the meanwhile, pray- ask to be led and to be guided- ask for assistance; keep yourself open and available to your intuition, for this is your guidance into stepping into what is greater than what we seem, and never cease your own personal quest for your spiritual relationship with our eternal Source. 

In the end, it's all about Love: love for Self, reverence for each other, for our world and for the Divine.

Many blessings to you on this most profound and provocative journey! Keep always faith, love and hope in your heart.
Namaste