Sacred Sexuality

To all mothers, daughters, aunts and nieces, to each Sister,

To all fathers, sons, uncles and nephews, and to each Brother,

I write these words with the intention of helping to heal the rifted relationship we have with our sexuality.  

We’re all waking up and realizing how imbalanced and disrespectful our relationships have been. We see accountability measures being taken to respect the earth and our natural environment. We’re demanding from our leaders balance, lucidity and accountability with our government and financial institutions. We won’t put up with being stepped on or taken advantage of anymore, pressured, pushed or pulverized into submissive tools which reduce our self-esteem and decrease our joie de vivre.

We’ve been given the tools necessary to make some significant changes in how we relate to each other and our world. The Information Age goes hand in hand with the Age of Enlightenment. With the onset of the internet, we now have an amazing window of connection with the world. We can share our experiences candidly with each other and we’re learning that we’re not alone in demanding more balance and respect in our lives. We are viewing our wounds of injustice and inequality, abuse, neglect and coercion in the light of a new dawn where the individual has more personal power than ever before. We can rise up, share insights, and be the support to forge and channel much needed change. We are starting to understand that to make true and lasting change, it must come from the conviction of the heart and authentically modeled to others for them to witness and perhaps adopt another, more respectful and honorable manner of relating.

Shedding the Light

The light of love needs to shine down and expose our current disjointed patterns concerning many relationships we have with each other. We create the world we live in. I ask that you read my words and take to heart the story I relay, for I have walked this path so many times with so many relationships of being a daughter, mother, sister, aunt, friend, wife, lover, employee, employer, community member, advisor, observer, participant, citizen, mistress, slave, student and guide. I have lived many experiences and have come full circle in realizing the sacredness of sexuality.

Living in Asheville, NC, being friendly with everyone nearby is standard protocol. It is one reason why I love living here so very much, because the healing culture of acceptance and friendly co-respecting diversity nurtures my soul. Being blessed by having an innately open and joyful nature myself, I’ve taken to this friendly cultural norm and quite happily perpetuate it in all of my relationships, equally attentive and genuine with both men and women, children and adults. When I am out, I smile at strangers and often easily strike up conversation. My heart is open and my intentions are pure. These authenticities are what enable trust to form when I connect with others, however brief and fleeting or deep and involved the interactions may be.

When I give a smile to someone, it is a gift of connection and acknowledgement. It is not an invitation to have sex.

I’ve never been hit on or made to feel uncomfortable with another woman by being friendly with them. This is not always true in my experiences with men. I know for a fact that being sexually harassed by bosses, teachers, respected elders and even strangers on the street is not in the minority of what we women have endured. Just because we exude the pleasant ethereal divine feminine energy does not mean that it is an invitation to mate.

I've been given a wealth of wisdom manifested by a deepening spiritual process. I highly suggest that each of us take the time to reclaim ourselves so that we don't feel the need to take our worth, value or pleasure from anyone else. Believe me, I've wanted, I've ached, I've wished to just sweep that crap under the rug and numb myself with whatever frivolous folly that may come around, but in the end, I know the crap is still there, and it still stinks, and it still needs to be dealt with and cleaned up.

It can't be covered with pain-pills or drowned in alcohol or forgotten with pot. It can't be outrun in a fast car, or gilded by glitzy glamor or layered with lust. All of these things are simply distractions from the real issue of self-worth. We've all been hurt, manipulated, used, neglected, abused by people in our lives, the closest of whom seem to have hurt us the most.

Re-forging the Bond Between Love and Sex 

 

There is a deep and aged schism that has long divided sex and love. Sex has been viewed as a commodity (what is the oldest profession in the world?) and has been manipulated, exploited and abused just as all commodities have been in our currently imbalanced world where might makes right and the ego rules without empathy.

Threading themselves through our sexual relationships over the ages are ribbons of right and wrong, cords of control and submission, lines of lust and apathy, power and fear, pain and pleasure; the dualities associated are myriad. As these attributes have been attached to the axis of sex, what has evolved is a tangled up mess of what is meant to be a beautiful expression of love, the embodiment of intimate trust, mutual pleasure and ultimately the divine creation of life.

There have been two paths women have taken with their female sexuality: to deny it, or to exploit it.

On one end of the spectrum, women have been forced to hide their sexuality for fear of being exploited, abused, taken advantage of or somehow misinterpreted. Wives dull down their sexual expression after being married so as not to awaken jealousy in their husbands or other women with whom they interact. Daughters are hidden and oppressed, sometimes chastised for being too openly expressive of their budding sexuality rather than being taught and modeled what is healthy.

Additionally, and in crazy opposition, female sexuality is overtly manipulated by both men and women as a tool to get what they want. A woman may withhold sex from her mate as a power-play or flirt with others as an offering of proof of her worth. A man may overpower a woman and take what he wants, he may debase her beauty with lusty, groin-groaning glances or lewd and crude cat calls. In both instances, what people think they want is to take power, control and attention when what is truly desired is love, appreciation and enjoyment.

As the carriers of life, sexuality is one of women’s most glorious raison d’etre. We were made to pro-create, to call forth the exquisite power of masculinity to dive in and meld with us. This mysterious essence is what calls two to unite into one. It is the ancient dance between two equal partners that seek only to pleasure each other with swirls and dips and trips to the stars. Sacred sexuality holds the power of creation, of recreation, of being rebirthed, rejuvenated, exalted and elated. When sexuality is stored as holy and sacred and shared only in love, it remains the most potent energy in all Creation because it is the physical expression and manifestation of Love, and cements our emotional, spiritual and mental bodies to each other.

The Ancient and Mesmerizing Power of Sacred Sexuality

It is deeply attuned, sensitive, provocative and stimulating energy.   It is a heady wine that fills the senses with delight and carries you off into the mists of the mystical.   Female sexual power is enchanting, mysterious, compelling.  It is the call to co-create, expand experience and evolve.  When wielded correctly by connecting with the heart through devoted, pure love, this sacred sexual power is quite potent and very, very healing to body, mind and spirit of both partners.

Holding sexual energy with love instead of allowing it to be abused or devalued is not for the faint of heart.  Many people are so used to seeking their value in what other people think of them, and being thought of as sexually attractive is one wide avenue of attention.  Women have abused their female sexual allure just as much as men have raped and abused us.  We all have exploited our sexual power in hope of taking something from another.  We’ve all been wounded; none of us have escaped without a bruised heart or broken trust.  In order to heal these deep wounds, we must take mindful approaches in how we relate to each other.

Keeping Sexuality Sacred

It is the physical manifestation of love and creation. It is not to be used or abused but revered and kept holy. This is the guide for the new template of relationships that carry Divine Love of respect and adoration, of empowerment and equality; this is what balances male and female relationships. After eons of misaligned connections associated with sex, love and power, it is time to rebalance masculine and feminine sexual expression. To experience this, we must model and lovingly accept nothing less than the divine partnership between love and sexuality.

Sexuality is to be held and shared in the sanctity of love. Sexuality is sacred and healing and is not to be given away by women simply because they want attention or power or control over a man; it is far too precious and it has been abused for far too long! There are other ways to get what you want. One very good way is to ask for it, plainly and simply and with love. Don’t turn what you want into a guessing game tendriled with conditions. We’re done with that way of doing things, ladies. It is harmful and manipulative and devalues the sanctity of sexuality just as much as allowing men to objectify us does.

The true power of sacred sexuality is awesome, transformative and healing. It is within each of our abilities’ to hold this intense and passionate fire of sacred sexuality within the cauldron of our divine self and to be mindful of how it is expressed to others. Because our sexuality has been so fractured and is currently so fragile, it must be consciously protected, nurtured and revered with love to again be the fully healing and harmonizing power in our relationships.

Let us walk together in the light of love, for we are the change we wish to see.